It’s been a long day already, and you haven’t even taken your first sip of coffee. You didn’t get to bed until well after midnight because the oldest couldn’t shut his mind down and wanted, no needed, to talk about every single swirling thought he’d ever had.
At four a.m. you were violently shaken awake by the six year old who just needed to hear you say, yet again, that it was highly unlikely that the sun would explode whilst she slept. And what scientific proof you had to back up your stance.
You finally got her settled again, snuggled next to your slumbering husband when the toddler started crying. He just needed to cuddle, and so in desperation you brought him into bed with you praying that this way you might both get some sleep.
For a few hours.
And then you awoke to a crash in the kitchen at 7:30ish.
Your sweet eight year old decided to make you coffee, and dropped the canister, then tripped over the chair she’d used to get the coffee out of the cupboard in the first place. And you looked at the table and saw that she’d pulled dough out of the fridge and was rolling it out for biscuits – and had spread flour everywhere.
Bleary-eyed, you finished making the coffee, and worked together with your daughter to clean up the mess, and soothed her sobs. Her plan had been to surprise you with a complete breakfast, ready to go, as soon as you woke up. And she’d hoped to be halfway through her independent school work before that.
But things often don’t look like the perfect picture in her head, and she just can’t handle that when perfectionism rears its ugly head.
So, for sanity’s sake, you are now sitting on the couch, cradling your coffee in your cupped hands, breathing in the vanilla flavored creamer and the peppermint essential oil you dropped in, hoping it would clear the cobwebs from your cluttered mind – and the television is on with Leap singing the alphabet to your littlest.
And you’re gearing up for the chaos of the day.
Homeschooling – no, parenting – gifted kids is not for the weak. There’s the anxiety. And the asynchrony. And the overexcitabilities. And the intensity. And the perfectionism. You often think that whomever came up with the term gifted to describe children like yours, may have used the word gift to remind themselves that children were a blessing.
Because oftentimes giftedness is not.
Take heart, mama, it is worth it.
The late night theological discussions, the endless curiosity, the boundless energy, the constant noise… it’s all worth it.
But, because the traditional parenting tips don’t typically work with gifted and intense children, you often feel alone and like you’re failing.
Dear Tired Mom of Gifted Kids
Here’s the thing, mama of gifted and intense kiddos… you’re not failing. At all. There are other moms out there who are experiencing the same failures, the same exhaustion, the same endless unanswerable questions from pint-sized brains that run laps around your own.
Moms of gifted kids need help – and they need to be okay asking for it.
Help can be a conversation in a support group for parents of gifted children. Something simple to remind you that you’re not alone, your kids will be fine, and you’ll make it through this adventure of parenting. If you’re looking for a fantastic and supportive community full of parents who get you, I’d love to have you join us in The Learner’s Lab.
Help is going out for coffee with a friend – just to be a normal woman for an evening. It’s getting together with with a small group of moms and their kids, and being okay with whatever means fun for your kiddo, even if that’s reading under a tree while the other kids run around on the playground.
It’s even pulling away from everyone for a few days or weeks to regroup and reconnect as a family. To sit at home and cuddle on the couch with one another.
Help is whatever YOU need most.
But, tired mama, the best thing you can do to help yourself through this journey of parenting misunderstood kiddos is to remember that you ARE a fantastic parent. You are exactly the mother designed for your kids. You’re perfect for them. Especially in your imperfection.
There’s no such thing as a perfect mama. Only one doing her best, learning and growing alongside her kiddos.
Sip that coffee, regroup, and rely on Netflix from time to time if you need to. But don’t doubt that you’re doing a wonderful job. You ARE a great mom.
I’m sitting here with my coffee, and thinking about you. Knowing that you’re out there helps me through my struggles too. We’re in this together, tired mama of gifted kids, and we can do this.
Thinking of you – and clinking my mug to yours… Be brave today. Smart kids are cool – and so are you. Carry on and know that help is a FB message or email away.
For more posts on parenting gifted kids, check out: